La Rochelle #39: Cirque Arlette Gruss

Pirate found out that there was a circus in town for a couple of weekends, so we went tonight.

I know there's shit around circuses, but since I'm not Peter Singer I just have to hope they're not like the zoo in Hanoi and enjoy the show.
But, you know it's going to be fun when a hot eyeliner-ed Latino boy sells you a stick of candy-floss BIGGER THAN YOUR FACE.

Seriously look how small my hand is in comparison:

The French term is pretty much "A Dad-Beard" ("Barbe à Papa.")
Also, he started spinning it the second he noticed my facial expression; now THAT's knowing your customers.
Also-also he spoke in Spanish *swoon*

 Then the show started, with SLAP BASS FROM THE LIVE BAND:

They had their own little nook that they disappeared into sometimes, when the show used pre-recorded music.
Also they get bonus points for the background music that pretty much sounded like Sting's "Shape of My Heart".

 - and there was also the intro safety-announcement shit, which was amusingly done IN RHYME (to be clear, this was in FRENCH RHYME), by the host guy who occasionally joined the band with his guitar; and who was either pretending to be, or unfortunately is, a bit of a [rather attractive] twat with an arrogant drawl.

Then, despite all our bitching ("There's a tiger on the e-tickets; there'd better fucking be a tiger!"), Pirate and I were shocked to see FOUR TIGERS ENTER THE RING. They were BEAUTIFUL; I would've been happy just to watch them sit there and glare at me, to be honest.
 
Anyway I don't have photos of any of that because I was busy disgustingly devouring my weight in fluffy sugar.

Actually there are a few things I didn't photograph because some things involved too much movement; or I couldn't be fucked. This list includes:
- hot male solo trapeze artist;
- gorgeous female contortionist;
[Seriously, those two would have ridiculously attractive babies; and I can only IMAGINE how they'd go about reproducing them, my GOD.]
- a male and female cutesy couple of jugglers (the girl had a really cute dress);
- a couple of bald male clowns who had various filler appearances;
- a magic-y show with militant-goth-style costumes (also I could NOT figure out where the girl managed to hide her legs);
- a lady with a bunch of dogs doing tricks (and even I'll admit that the little Jack Russell was endearing);
- a sterner lady (in an awesome swooshy dress) with a bunch of pretty horses, some of whom amused the children by emptying their bowels;
- a giant mesh-y metal sphere (which originally was inexplicably topped with a well-built guy with a mesh-top and an electric guitar), with three (then five, THEN EIGHT WHAT THE FUCK) motorcycles roaring around inside it!!

Yeah so you can just imagine all that.

Meanwhile, some photos of cool things:

Guy juggling at the top of a ladder, after doing some pretty impressive ladder tricks.
I couldn't help but think that Han would be good at the assistant-lady's job; it's pretty much about flourishing your arms sometimes, and strutting in tall, heeled boots.

THERE WERE FOUR ELEPHANTS. With four girls in cute outfits.

There were also four guys, whose role was apparently to stand topless in the sidelines.
Why the fuck not.

There was another horsey bit with this CUTEY who is speckled like a dalmation.
Pirate had seen him being trained on the beach earlier this week (which is how she got a head's up about the circus).

DID I MENTION THERE WAS ANOTHER BIT WITH TWO MALE TRAPEZE ARTISTS?!?

Most of my photos of these two came out pretty bad - because, aside from my lame photography skills, they were doing crazy tricks and there was funny lighting, and more importantly I was busy trying to pick my jaw up off the floor. I'm just disappointed that I can't share their delicious back muscles with you. Seriously. Just.

Trapeze artists, man.

Yeah. In retrospect, it is remarkable how much of the show I spent with my mind in the gutter.

 THEN THE FINALE.

Weird spinning metal contraption, rotatable.
Two hawt guys.
TRICKS.

The best bit was when one of them would jump-rope on the outside of it as it was rotating :D

Seriously though, so much attractiveness in this show.

To end on a more family-friendly note, however:

SINCE WHEN DOES CORNETTO MAKE "TRIPLE-CHOCOLATE" ICE CREAM?!?